A cool way to calibrate emotions

Another thing from the NY Power Team

The TETRAD [Tony’s TRIAD]

A Summary of State or “Mood”The four forces that shape all human emotions and behaviors…

PHYSIOLOGY

Posture Breath Facial Expressions Gestures Muscular Tension

Movement *BioChemistry (Hydration, Blood Sugar, Exercise)

Check it & Correct it…

What do I have to do with my body/face to produce/access/experience this state/emotion?

LANGUAGE

Vocabulary - excellent (vs good); tinkled (vs angry); scrumptious (vs tasty)

Questions - Why me? What am I doing wrong? -vs- How will I grow from this experience?

What can I still do better?

Metaphors - They stabbed me in the back; I feel like I am drowning -vs-

Life is like a box of chocolates…

Incantations - I don’t know… This sucks… I’ll never understand this… -vs-

Now I am the voice… All I need is within me now… I can, I will, I must…!

Check it & Correct it…
What words, questions, metaphors and incantations do I consistently use that limit the quality of my life moment to moment?

What words, questions, metaphors and incantations could I choose and use on a consistent basis in order to produce the emotions and behavior I desire in my life?

FOCUS

Is your mind “focused” on the past, present or future – positive or negative situations?

Check it & Correct it…

What is the outcome I must focus on right now in order to change my state? What prior victories could I remember and what future success could I imagine right now?

BELIEFS

What do you believe about the situation that keeps you there and prevents you from taking

action towards a solution. Do you believe: you deserve these circumstances, that it’s “just your luck”, that they cannot be changed or that you cannot change them, that it’s “just one of those days”?

Check it & Correct it…

What would I have to believe about this situation, or about myself, in order to feel the way I would prefer to feel and behave the way I want to behave? Who am I at my best? What is the truth (vs my hallucination)?

GOALS & CONSEQUENCES are the result of your BEHAVIOR,

your BEHAVIOR is directed by your EMOTIONS,

your EMOTIONS are managed and shaped through the FORCES OF THE TETRAD,

So, the key to achieving your GOALS resides in how you manage your STATE

(the Tetrad)

STATE IS EVERYTHING and EVERYTHING BEGINS WITH YOUR STATE

Determination, Courage, Resourcefulness, Love, Gratitude…

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Something you might find useful

• Expressing your natural talent (heart) brings you joy, while using your skills (mind) brings you pleasure–let your heart lead

• The purpose of life is to add value, learn and grow, and enjoy
• For every person who finds their piece of the picture–a thousand others find theirs
• That which is within you and expressed will set you free–that which is within you and not expressed will eat you from within (–Gospel of Thomas)

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Little Green Men Live In My Server

I swear there are little monsters in my server who run around and chew on cables and piss on the hard drives.

A normal day (today):

8 am - Server down intermittently. Admin has no idea why.

11 am - All images disappear from several of my sites. Nobody knows why.

2 pm - One site mysteriously starts forwarding itself to another site.

4 pm - Server down again.

5 pm – DSL down.

6 pm – Server slow.

7 pm – Email down.

8 pm – Email back up, sort of.

It just makes you want to scream!

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The Perfect Web Site is Invisible

For me the perfect web site is one that I don’t notice. I’m talking about the site and not the content. I mean the things like the graphics, links, page layout, etc. If the site is a good site I don’t notice these things at all.

What I mean is that the site itself is so streamlined, so perfectly put together, so well thought out, that I just flow through it without any resistance.

You see, for me to notice something it needs to get my attention. Thus it needs to stand out, or better said it would be in the way. But the mechanics of a good site never stand out. A site is not there to be seen, it is there to do a job in the background.

Its job is to fulfill your needs.

A good site is like a good team of housecleaners or butlers. I have nothing against them of course but if you are a VIP at a nice hotel you aren’t paying to wait around and watch the staff make your bed. They are so good that they know when you leave the room and when you come back the bed and room are miraculously cleaned. That is great.

A great web site does the same. It knows its job and does it perfectly. The job of a web site is to be the perfect servant, never seen, always anticipating your next need. This is not easy to accomplish but when done right it is a beautiful thing.

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Being Thankful

Today I got a lot of chainmail from my friend Rhonda

Here is another. It has a lot of examples of how you can change a crappy situation into a positive one through perspective. It isn't a message to have incredibly low expectations but rather a message that looking at things positively yet realistically is a useful way of living.

Here goes. Whoever wrote it didn't understand that capital letters are annoying

 
I AM THANKFUL:

FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA
BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME,
NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
"BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS
WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH..

FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH
WHO SINGS OFF KEY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES
AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN
CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF
IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.
 

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Time to enjoy

You've put a lot of time and effort into getting where you are. Take some time to truly enjoy it, right here and right now.

What is the point in struggling and striving for more, if you do not enjoy what you already have? Why put your effort into getting further ahead, if you cannot enjoy where you already are?

Take some time to simply enjoy. No matter where you may be, there is always a way to truly enjoy the incredible blessing of life.

And the more you enjoy that blessing, the more it grows. The more you truly enjoy what you have, the more there will be to enjoy.

It makes no sense to postpone your enjoyment until some imagined time in the future when conditions will be ideal. For if you cannot find enjoyment where you are, that ideal time will never come.

Take time, on a regular basis, to truly enjoy, even if there are no reasons. For when you do, there will soon be plenty of reasons.

– Ralph Marston

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A Slow Soul is a Happy Soul

“The soul requires duration of time — rich, thick, deep, velvety time — and it thrives on rhythm. Soul can’t be hurried or harried …. We may go through many events in the day and experience nothing because the soul has not had the opportunity to feel them from many different points of view.”
– Robert Sardello

“Soul cannot exist when our connections in life remain superficial. An experience of soul requires that we take time to be fully present to the details of our lives.

Explore what happens when you take the time to STOP and PAY ATTENTION. When we choose to slow down and really experience the qualities of our lives, we get a whole new perspective on what living’s all about.”
– (not sure of author)

“We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and mystery.”
– H. G. Wells

“The well of Providence is deep. It’s the buckets we bring to it that are small.”
– (not sure of author)

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Why People Come Into Your Life

Another chain letter (a little edited by me) about finding value in people. If you see everyone as a possible teacher then all interaction becomes richer and more meaningful:

People come into your life for a reason. When you figure out which it is you will know exactly what to do.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people stay awhile, others stay a lifetime. Good or bad, they all have something to teach us.

When someone is in your life it is to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

They might be your friend but they might not be. They are a godsend either way. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

If you need to learn how to be carefree then you might attract somebody who pulls you into a life of laughter and fun. Or you might attract somebody who is harsh and organized, forcing you to become carefree out of survival.

If you need to learn how to handle crazy people then you might attract one. Learn the lesson or you will forever attract them until the lesson is learned.

If you need to learn how to be wealthy then you might attract somebody with the key to your wealth.

Everyone in your life is there with a lesson. What the lesson is sometimes is a mystery, sometimes it is clear.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, something will bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The lesson has been answered and it is now time to move on.

Your job is to accept the lessons, love the person or people involved; and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships, and areas of your life.

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What is Love? A few kids give their take.

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she
couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even
when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8

When someone loves you, the way they say
your name is different. You just know that your
name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne
and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give
somebody most of your French fries without making
them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my
daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him,
to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then
when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be
together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are
like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at
Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you
should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

"Love is when you tell a guy you
like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman
and a little old man who are still friends
even after they know each other well."
Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on
a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the
people watching me and saw my daddy waving and
smiling. He was the only one doing that. I
wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see
anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy
the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy
smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than
Robert Redford." Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks
your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me
because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go
out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your
eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of
you." (what an image)
Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on
the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you'
unless you mean it. But if you mean it,
you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8

And the final one —

A four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife: Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"

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Kindness

I get a lot of chain letters, like everyone I guess. Over the years I've seen some of the same ones over and over again. This one always gets me. I don't cry. In fact I haven't cried in a while. Not because I don't feel pain or get depressed. But those things just never make me feel like crying.

But acts of kindness make me cry. They let loose something inside me that gets pent up during the day to day business of life.

This little story always brings a tear to my eye. Maybe it is beacuse I see myself in the little boy. Not because I was that caring to waitresses. But because of his earnestness. His blind desire to do good (however impractical).

===

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, 10-year-old boy entered a coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.

"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins.

"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..

You see, he couldn' t have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

 ===

Another story along the same lines:

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare &serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness.

The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her. 

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