Emilio - Catholic
Emilio
Mexican Catholic
The relationship most Catholics have towards their church in Mexico is mainly one of fear. The religion they teach you, from childhood to old age, is a religion of control. Catholicism is there to tell us what not to do: you should not have sex before marriage, you should not masturbate, you should not lie, and so on. But they give no clear explanation of why we shouldn’t do it. We are only told we will be punished if we do.
I think this is why most people in Mexico find it difficult to have an intimate and enthusiastic religious life. This is wrong, and is the fault of the priests. There is no place in the gospel, or anywhere else, which tells you that religion should be taught in that way. On the contrary, religion should be a liberating experience, and Mexico does have some experience in this.
When Mexico was conquered by Spain, the missionaries came too, and they really did an excellent job at spreading the faith. But generally, people today do not think religion is something that will make them happy. They see it as a constraint, as something that is asking for sacrifice now for the sake of a life after death. This makes most people very indifferent towards religion.
However, since ninety-six percent of Mexico is Catholic, it is convenient to be Catholic. There are a lot of social things that push you to be Catholic. Some even show off with it, by going to church every Sunday and by showing how religious they are, even though they are not. It is difficult to separate those who are going to church for the image and those who are truly religious. I think ninety percent feel very distant from the church. They go to church simply out of custom.
When I was a kid I was a Catholic, but only because I was following my parents. I went to church regularly, I confessed often. I was trying to follow the code book of being a good Catholic. But the older I got, I began to see the emptiness of it all. At first, the natural reaction was to distance myself from the church.
Then, when I was about eighteen, I realized that religion might be something that comforts you. I began to feel that maybe it could help me to be happy here, in this life. I’m not worried about going to heaven or hell. I’m concerned about being happier now, today. I discovered that religion helps in that sense, and I drifted back to Catholicism.
Even though I’m a bad Catholic, even though I’m a regular sinner, one of the most serene moments I’ve had in my life was when I was connecting with God. These moments are very rare, extremely rare, but they are there nonetheless. That’s where I am now. I’m Catholic because I’ve decided to be. I don’t follow the Catholic traditions that much. I don’t take Communion, mainly because I haven’t confessed for at least seven years.
And I don’t think I will either. If were to talk to a priest about this, he would say I’m not even following the most basic Catholic principles. But I still consider myself Catholic. I’m following the parts that are most helpful for me. Life is difficult, with many ups and downs, and religion helps me weather that. It makes me feel protected.
Going to church to pray has the same effect as a good psychiatrist. I go to Church and I share my worries with somebody who I respect and trust. I get comfort in this. I feel relief. For me, my religion makes me serene.
Tags: catholic, Catholicism, church, Emilio, Mexican, Mexico
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