I was sitting in the car listening to the radio of a guy who practices “Dandyism” which is basically an obsession with the way he dresses and behaves, a throwback to an idealized mythic time when “men had style” and when when men wore frock coats, petty coats, short coats, long coats and all sorts of other fancy clothing. They also had all sorts of customs and mannerisms that made them unique from others.
Basically he had recreated himself into this hyper stylized person. But then I started to think. As I listened to him I realized this was who he was. True he had recreated himself but the recreation was part of who he was. His recreation and his true self were one and the same. And then a little mantra came into my mind:
“We are what we are”
Who cares if you are pretending, if you are doing what your parents want, if you are doing what you think your parents want, if you are rebelling, if you are “just being yourself” whatever that means, if you are not being yourself or if you are dressing up in frock coats.
Whatever you are is what you are….and then you die.
Where people fail is that they think there is some pure true self somewhere inside and if they just search long enough they will find it. But it is much simpler. You are who you are. If you get rid of all the “non-you”, all outside influences (as if this was ever possible), then what would you have? You would have you. But you were you before that as well. “You” are you regardless of all the trivial things like what you dress, think, etc.
You are you are you are you are you are you and are you.
So what do people really talk about when they say I am me? I think it is a sense of being in control. This man “chose” to be a dandy - he felt in control of his choice. Versus somebody who was “forced” to become a dandy.
But this is a joke. Anyone who has ever had a near death experience knows that we are in control of nothing.
So on the surface, sure, you are what you eat, think, do, say etc. and you control that. Certainly you are a different person if you run around killing people vs. somebody who becomes a Buddhist monk. Practically this is true….if only life were always practical.
But parallel to this, is an alternate universe, there is an identical you who is not in control of anything. In that universe you are what you are. Period.
And guess what. These two universes might very well be happening at the same time in your body… a paradox? I think not. It is the yin and yang.
One one side you control your destiny. On the other side your destiny controls you…. go figure that one out…
And meanwhile we have this interesting but overly cynical take on who you are:
The trick it seems is to develop the skills, the awareness, the strength to “be in the world, but not of the world.”
If you can accomplish this you have freed yourself from petty unhappiness and tapped into a larger more powerful happiness.
“Be in the world” - THE DUALITY
You are in the world, with all of its physical and mental aspects. This is to be part of your daily experiences, to be “right there” giving it your 100% attention. Being in the world is to get involved in your surroundings, to live life with full energy and interaction. You are living its abstractions or delusions as well as seeing the world as it is right in front of you. You are in your mind where past, present and future have no distinction, where fantasy, dillusion and reality mingle without separation. You are in the hard facts of reality, crisp and clear, beautiful in their perfect truth. You live the paradox of truth and illusion, happiness and sadness, life and death. This is the duality of life. This is your environment, much like the weather.
“but not of the world” - YOUR CONSTANT SOURCE
Your SOURCE of power, truth and awareness does NOT come from the world. You are in the world but you do not depend on the ebb and flow of that world for your happiness, direction, inspiration, wisdom, or fulfillment. You may share all those things with the world in the form of your art and activities but you do not DEPEND on the world to share it back. Your SOURCE comes from a force that is not part of the world. It is not part of your physical body or mind. It is outside of that. As the world ebbs and flows, is good and bad, happy and sad, your SOURCE is CONSTANT. It is not a duality. It is ONE.
To access this SOURCE you must have an awareness ABOVE AND BEYOND the normal duality of the world. This awareness is achieved, well, through awareness….becoming aware that there is a constant force behind the relatively minor dualistic energies of your day to day awareness allows you to access the power. It is a circular activity: seeing the higher power allows you to see the higher power. Seeing the illusion of the world allows you to see the illusion of the higher world. Humans, above all else, are here to learn the essence of awareness. If we learn it we succeed as a race. If we don’t we die and the universe dies with us. The universe is counting on us for this contribution. In return the universe gives us unlimited power for all of eternity.
Becoming aware of the dualistic nature of life plus the eternal source of our power and then being able to live the triad in harmony is our destiny.
Yin/Yang + eternal power = The Triad = Humanity Awakened
“Trying to find answers from outside yourself is nonsense. You need to look inward.”
The Dalai Lama.
I have been to over 34 countries and have come into contact with some very amazing stuff. I have been exposed to powerful esoteric knowledge that explains how we work. I have listened to wise people explain the meaning of life. I have learned wonderful tools for being a better person.
But at the end of the day even these great things fall flat. The true power of being alive is inside me. It has no name, no affiliation, no description or similarity. It is completely unique. There is nothing like it outside in the world.
Only when I realized this was I truly happy. I searched so much, I tried so hard, I wished so badly that that philosophy, that political view, that belief, that way of acting, that perspective, that opinion, that system, that place, that person, that tool would be the solution to finding happiness. But sooner or later they failed me.
They would say I am not trying hard enough, not doing it right, not following the path faithfully, not in the right place, don’t understand enough, but that is all crap.
The truth is that I am much smarter than any system, religion or way. I know so much more. For me. Only I know what is right for me. And I need nothing to know that. It is right there inside me. In fact very often the outward structures get in the way of our inward discovery.
This is not to say all the external tools are useless. Otherwise we would all be feral children with no outside tools to interact with others. We need the systems, whether they are political, religious or otherwise to have complex societies.
But the individual needs nothing of that to be connected with themselves. And that is the only thing that really matters. All else is secondary by a long shot. Otherwise you are an empty vessel void of life. You might as well get a meaningless 9-5 job that pays to keep your body fed and wait for death.
So look inside. What do you see? It might be scary at first. But ultimately it is the most liberating thing you could ever do, both for yourself and the whole universe.
